I started to call this list “What to Name Your Female Presidential Geeklet,” but the accuracy-and-feminism geek in me protested. I’ll head off to research actual female rulers and world leaders here in a few minutes, and instead present to you a list of names held by our nation’s First Ladies.
Most of them are given names, although I threw in a few surnames that have been commonly accepted into the “baby girl name lists” out there. (The surnames are italicized.) I’ve focused this list at girls, as it’s a bit harder for a “girl’s name” to break into the boy’s list. That being said, if you want to name your son Martha, who am I to judge?
I rather like several of these – good, respectable, traditional names, with that added historical glitter. What do you think?
*also known as Lady Bird
Much like him, some people are doomed to go down in history as “also-rans.” If you’re in the market for a baby name that says “My kid will almost reach the stars, but will get passed by by some smooth-talking schmuck at the last minute,” check out these names courtesy of men who were beaten in their attempts to win the White House. I’ve eliminated common first names, like Thomas and John. Names in italics might be suitable for girls. Several are surefire ways to make sure your kid ends up hating you.
Even knowing that we haven’t been trying that long… even knowing that we didn’t try very hard this month… sigh. I just feel like such a miserable failure.
Oh well. No Christmas baby for me. Just as well – last thing we need is another midwinter birthday (mine’s early December, his is mid-January).
This morning in the shower I was doing the math, thinking I might be a day late and trying not to get excited about what that might mean. Then, on the way to work, I realized that my math was wrong, and that I wouldn’t be a day late until tomorrow. As it turns out, I’m nothing if not punctual.
The worst of it, I think, is that to me this always feels somewhat devastating. And it’s such a lonely devastation.
Well, I’m exhausted, depressed, disgusted with myself, in severe pain, and sporting a nose full of broken-out skin. I think I’m going to go curl up with a bottle of kahlua and die. Turn out the light on your way out, ‘kay?
One might argue, as did Will Rogers, that the vice presidency is the best job in the country. “All he has to do,” Rogers said, “is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’” Not bad as careers go, eh? And yet, the VP often gets overlooked unless he really makes a doofus (or nightmare) of himself. We don’t really commemorate the second-in-command very often. For every baby named after a VP, there must be hundreds or thousands named after a President. Maybe it’s time to change that.
We haven’t yet managed to have a female vice president in the US, either, so what I’ve done is compiled a list of Vice Presidents and Second Ladies – but only those VPs and SLs who did not eventually ascend to the best seats in the house. That is to say, if the VP became President, he isn’t on this list. I’ve included a handful of middle names on the girls’ side, and peeled another handful of names off of the boys’ side to build a slightly questionable unisex list. You’ll have to let me know what you think.
Slightly Potentially Unisex: Adlai, Alben, Barkley, Cheney, Dallas, Gerry, Schuyler, Wheeler
I dare you to name your kids Hannibal and Floride.
I know that there are pregnancy tests out there that can detect pregnancy hormones pretty darn early, but in all honesty, I’ve never bought a test and don’t plan to do so yet. (There was this one time when my system went all wonky, and I missed several periods. I was terrified that we were pregnant, but even more terrified to find out for sure. Looking back, I can’t believe how dumb I was. Why didn’t I test? Why didn’t I see a doctor? Why was I so scared? Good grief, we’d been married over a year at the time. What I wouldn’t give to miss my period now!)
What I’m trying to say is, I’m not going to spend money on a test, and risk getting seen by someone I know at the store, and risk jinxing it, when I could just wait another week or so for the Female Human Body’s Natural Negative Pregnancy Indicator.
In the meantime, though… we wait. And I’m one of those people (aren’t we all?) whose imaginations have a lot of sway over our bodies. In other words: I’m wishing I was pregnant, so every little thing my body does seems like a big flashing YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT light.
The first two times that this happened, after we stopped trying not to try, I was really convinced. My whole body felt off, especially all of the down-there systems. I felt hormonal. My appetite spiked. My digestive system changed. Turns out, of course, that these were all of the little signs adding up to DUDE, YOU’VE GOT A RAGING URINARY TRACT INFECTION. Because, hey, that’s my life. Other people have sex and get a baby; I have sex and I get a colony of bladder bacteria from hell.
Anyway, I’m about a week from the start of my next cycle. My appetite is all wonky and I’m craving sweets, which I rarely do. And my breastages are sore. Clearly, just your typical run-of-the-mill premenstrual symptoms. But is there a dumbly optimistic voice inside me yelling MAYBE YOU’RE PREGNANT? To quote everyone’s favorite inexplicable dominatrix, you betcha.
and his adorable son: